Updated: May 20
Most of our lives revolve around our parent's maximum time of our life. Of course, they are the most important part of everybody's life. We always have our ideal person one amongst our parents, whether it is our mom or our dad. Yet we never tell them, all we can tell them that they are important by doing things which can make them feel proud of us. Its as expected from us but before talking about anyone, I am going to talk about our mother. The one person who can feel our pain before us, the one person who knows something is bothering us just with a gut feeling, the one person who can understand us, forgive us and make us a better person. I am sure everyone will agree with it but can we even measure what all they have done for us.
No, not at all. Even if we spend our entire life just serving them would not equalize with what all they have done for us. A very small thing, we tend to forget the things we keep in our home, for example, socks, we can turn the cupboard upside down but we still couldn't find it. The moment our mom comes to know about it, she will find it in just a few seconds. If you ask her how did u find it, she will just say, "Search it with your eyes, you will find it" but even if you try it harder the next time, you will still not find it. I have accepted that she has some superpowers and of course, she is so powerful. Starting from the day, she comes to know that she is pregnant till the time you are born, all the pains, mood swings, the weight gain and all kinds of hormonal changes she goes through, we cannot even imagine about all that till the girls out there become a mother. I think that's why there is immeasurable and infinite love they have for their children.
The way she fights with the entire world just to keep her child protected, the way she sacrifices small little things like her happiness for her children and the way she always stands with us in every big-small decision we take makes me feel so overwhelmed. But we children are so stupid sometimes, we don't realize all these feelings and fail to respect them. That still doesn't bother her and she always forgives us for big-small wrongs we have done in our life. This raises another question in my mind, do our mothers always take the right decision for us? No, I don't think so. But provided this, I cannot blame her for making some of us choose science despite Humanities or choosing to go work in an office rather than serve for our nation. It is a valid point because all they want is us being safe but do, they have to come over the emotional barrier? Yes, of course. Emotions tend to make a person weaker rather than the strongest they can be.
This was about our mom. Let's talk about our father. The strongest and the only person who doesn't let his emotions take his life over. It is expected from the father of the family to make decisions for the betterment of the family and earn a living for us. They have to be the pillar of support, so they usually tend to let us know what is happening in the world. They expect us to be settled sooner in our life and make a much better life than us. Ideal for many and the person who sometimes fails to show that he loves us unconditionally. It is not his fault, it's the fault of society who expects him to take over the hard decisions in our lives and be like a hard rock when it comes to expressing what they feel deeply.
But we understand dad, we know that you love us equally like our mom and care about us unconditionally but we know there are many hardships that even you face which makes you the way you are. Being a parent is not easy and we would not realize it until we become a parent.
They want their children to work according to how they want most of our life, but that isn't possible when you an adult and can take your own decisions. I am not saying all mothers are like but some are definitely. They usually forget that we have the right to take our own decisions, rise, and fall in our own chosen paths and realize the importance of various aspects of our life. They want us to live safe and secure but just answer one question, has any diamond become of value before going through fire? It has to go through very tough paths to become the most valuable gem and so are humans. We have to take the wrong paths to get us on the right path. I know you would be wondering that it appears as if I don't value my mother. I would leave that question in your mind for the end. So, coming back to the topic.
So, I can understand that parenting is a very difficult aspect of our life. The problem is even our parents have had no hands-on experience in parenting a child. The reason is obvious, with experience you become perfect, like when you date many people and through every breakup, they come to realize the perfect way to treat a guy or a girl (**Just kidding**). But our parents have had no experience in raising a child because every child is different, they need a different kind of attention, some of them are very good at studies but some of them aren't. Some of them are very rude and short-tempered but some of them are soft-hearted.
Even if there are 10 children but every child has a different way to be treated. They cannot be perfect and not every decision can be perfect. All they can do is being a good and supportive parent.
It doesn't mean that they don't learn it, they do because life is full of lessons, we learn at every turn. There might be chances that our moms can be a little tough to understand but be a better person here, be understanding and understand they have never experienced this in their life. We have to be patient enough to let them know that if we are taking our own decision, we will be accountable for that. I know it is hard but isn't it what life is about.
Now coming to the concept of motherhood. Many other people in our lives play the role of a mother in our life because guess what it needs, just enough love, care, and concerns in our life. We have our siblings, first cousins, and close relatives who sometimes behave in that way. Take care of us like our mother would take if she isn't around. We have been getting so much of love and concern that once we reach a certain age, we realize that our parents and loved ones have done so much for us, so many uncountable sacrifices and unconditional love that it is then our time to give them something in return. So, call them every day if you live away from them, if you live with them, spend at least 10 minutes having a cup of tea away from your mobile phones just listening to them. Trust me, these 10 minutes of your time will give them so much happiness that they would in turn shower you with double love and concern.
Share some of your problems with them, tell them how you think of solving them. If they come up with any of the solutions, then listen to it, don't just tell it to their face that you are not going to do that way because it appears the problem needs a different kind of solutions. Do it your way, in case you succeed tell them how you did it, they would be so proud of it. If you fail, try doing it their way, even if you fail or succeed, it would be a win-win for both of you, for your parents and you. Anyways, they will be super proud of you and would trust and believe in your judgment.
As I have said in Are You Scared, don't be scared to let people know about your opinion, just know there is always a way to say something? So, this Mother's Day, let us all be more understanding and concerned about our parents, appreciate all the efforts they have taken, and try to change yourself in ways that will make them feel proud about it because making them feel proud is an easy game, my friend. But all these things I have been asking to change and do is not just for one day, all the days of the calendar should be Mother's Day, Father's Day, brother's day or sister's day because everyone in our life has played a different role at different points of time. Our mothers have been a good father, good brother, good sister, and a best friend to us, the same goes for our father, siblings, best friends, and close relatives.
Every day should be a happy day, not some designated day that has been assigned by a group of people because more than posting a picture of your mother and writing some excellent caption, making them feel, "I love You" in front of you is important. They would forget about the pictures you have posted but they will never forget the feeling of being loved, 365 days in their life. I would now, tell all the parents that just trust the judgment of your child because they are adults, of course, you have to be supportive of a certain decision, (**Which I suppose would be completely moral**) I know it can be a little difficult because you would fear what if your child fails and is not able to cope up with it, but isn't it the time when you come in the picture, to support and let them know that YOU WILL BE THERE FOR THEM NO MATTER WHAT.
Anything that comes in life, is never one handjob. It takes two to make a quarrel (**Taali Ek haath se nahi bajti**), so just try to be a good parent and we should try to be a good child, being perfect is not in the picture, being a good and caring person is. The questions which have been left unsaid, I love my mother more than anyone else, but I don't tell it to her, I believe that actions speak louder than words, if she is proud of having me as my daughter, I would feel I have accomplished my purpose of life. It's not my happiness but my parents and my brother to feel very proud of having me. My mother to be happy that whatever pain and labor she went through was worth it. So, I would ask is it too much to ask?